Running out of time

For quite some time now, it has been a recurring thought at the back of my mind (and yes, also in front!) that I am running out of time. I know, I know, some of you might say we really all are running out because we lose time as each and every moment passes by. But lately, this notion has been a persistent presence. 

I admit it is the reason I made the decision (with my husband of course!) to finally buy a house and lot. I felt at that time that I am not getting any younger and if I didn't get that house, it's possible my husband and I would grow old homeless or perhaps, living with one of our sons. Not that I am already envisioning a difficult relationship with my future daughters in law. It's just that I know they would also want to experience being on their own without me meddling in their affairs. Same goes for me and my husband, I guess. 

It's also the reason why we hurriedly bought a replacement car. I felt my sons are growing up fast (well, they are grown ups expect for Pat!) and I want them to continue to get used to having a car so that by the time they can afford it, they would look at owning a car as an essential.Sort of make them get used to that standard of living so that they would aspire to at least maintain that lifestyle. Not sure if I am making sense. I felt I was running out of time to help mold and influence their lives. 

Is it because of the age I am currently in? I have no idea. I think I am in rather unique stage - I am in my early 40s and two of my sons are working, the third one is 20 and will soon be joining the workforce. Yesterday, I was actually shaking my head unbelievably thinking that my youngest son is about to go to college! Where did all the time go?

I keep thinking I spent so much time focused on other things and then suddenly realized whoa! they've grown up and there isn't much time to be a mom to them anymore.

There also isn't so much time to save enough money to buy the things we need when we retire.  And so I am in a sort of mild panic about the things I need to accomplish so I can settle down and ease into being the mom of adults, refocus from devoting energy into making sure they finish their studies and become good individuals into  planning for  retirement.